Wednesday, January 16, 2013

prologue

With so many delightful cats to feature, it's been awhile since I've written much about my personal world.


For quite a while now I've been feeling kind of emotionally frozen, where I know the emotions are in there but accessing, naming and expressing them has been arduous. Having first noticed this shift last Spring, around the time when my mother’s health started to decline leads me to believe the reality of facing her mortality has overwhelmed my emotional system. My mom continues to hang in there, although her chronic atrial fibrillation and crazy high heart rate are really working her over, not to mention the cancer. She goes in sometime this month for a comparison scan which will tell us the status of the cancer.

In addition to my emotional disconnectedness, after having moved thousands of miles away from my faith community twelve years ago, I’ve come to recognize that my spiritual faith has withered over the years from lack of consistent nourishment. My soul longs for deeper connection. 

Having recognized these things, I’ve recently embarked on a journey to open my heart and soul further to the richness of what life has to offer. I’m not sure where this journey will take me and I’m a bit apprehensive about heading into the unknown, however I’m tired of living a relatively black and white life in a world that I know has millions and millions of colors. I’m tired of surviving and am ready to thrive.

I’ve got a few ideas of how to start my journey. I’m planning to reread a series of books that once stirred intense emotions several years ago when I first read them in hopes that this may ‘prime the emotional pump’. I blogged about them at the time, the Warriors series of cat-based adventure books. I’m also planning to invest in my spirituality by intentionally creating space for connecting and seeking more meaningful relationship with God. I desire to have an openness toward stepping into opportunities that may further my journey as they arise.



I do not wander alone. I am thankful to have Laura, the cats, and other friends all of which keep me firmly grounded in what is good, what is true. Every so often I will share updates related to this journey, so stay tuned.

Now it's time to prepare some snacks. Good snacks are essential for having a good journey!

16 comments:

  1. Recognizing what is really bothering us deep down takes courage and is the biggest step: you can now move forward toward new discoveries or old truths. Good luck in finding your inner peace.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mario's mom here - Sounds like a good plan. We need to step aside now and then and examine where we have been and where we are going. We only live once, so make the best of it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wish you all the luck in the world on your new journey. Hugs, Deb

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sounds like a plan. We will continue to send purrs to your mom..... And sometimes the JOURNEY is better than the destination, so be sure to keep your eyes and heart open - you never know what you might find. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's nice to read your share. I can understand the emotional disconnect due to what must be overwhelming feelings due to your Mom's illness. It's probably your body's safety mechanism to keep you functioning in your day to day life so you can go to work, take care of the cats, etc.
    I look forward to hearing more about your spiritual journey. At this point in my life, I am feeling at a loss spiritually and I do not know what direction to take. Maybe you can inspire me also.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've had times like that in my life and to recognize it and to take steps to change it are huge! We will support you on your journey! Big Hugs, Linda

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm wishing you blessings on your journey.

    And yes, snacks are important. Good food. "Eat, Pray, Love." :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You'll get there,but remember to enjoy the discoveries along the way.
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  9. Watching a parent decline, even from afar, is very difficult. It can affect one in so many ways. And the loss of one's faith community is another big shift. I wish you well on your journey, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wishing you peace and blessings on the next phase of your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Remember to appreciate and value every moment. That more than anything helps me grow, I've found. I envy you your faith, I myself have never had any and I sometimes wish I did.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am with you all in your journey toward God. I thank Him every day for all of the blessings I have...even when I can't always recognize them right away.

    Treasure your life and those of your loved ones and your dear cats. Give thanks for them all. Your journey will be a good one.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It is good that you are dealing with your emotions and your emptiness. Recognizing and taking steps to better it are 2 very big steps. Good luck on your journey. I wanted you to know I received the puzzle today, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Prayers for your journey and wisdom for your direction. So many different paths, but He wants us to know Him even more than we want to know Him.

    ReplyDelete
  15. sending purrs and prayers for strength and peace for you in this difficult time

    ReplyDelete
  16. For myself I have found that when I feel shut off it may be a needed respite from what can be overwhelming. Then, as in spring, we open again to the sun of experience.
    Prayers that you find a path under your feet.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sending in your comments!