Saturday, June 1, 2013

human-animal bonds

I rarely talk about my work here as it often doesn't pertain to the purpose of the blog. For those that don't know, I work as a mental health counselor, in private practice. The work can be both very challenging and richly rewarding.

Many of the people I work with have experienced abuse or neglect at the hands of human caregivers. The very adults charged with nurturing the child are the ones teaching the child that humans are not safe to look after their vulnerable hearts and souls. The child is left to devise ways of distancing themselves from the emotional pain of not being validated, valued or unconditionally loved as a means to survive. It is from this place that coping strategies are established and later in life these strategies become mental health diagnoses.

Humans have repeatedly failed them, but their pets never failed to provide unconditional love, like an overflowing spring of validation and nurture in the midst of an unrelenting desert. So many pet dogs and cats function as impromptu therapy animals in the homes of children who are experiencing emotional neglect and abuse. My heart really hurts for the children who grew up in the abuse and neglect without live-in therapy animals to caretake their souls.

I ask all my clients about their childhood pets and I am astonished to hear about the incredible bonds they had with their pets. These moments are precious to me, they are truly sacred. I'll be talking with an emotionally shutdown, surly person about the problems they are facing in their lives and after I hear about their difficult childhood experience, I ask them to tell me about their childhood pets. So often with those children who grew up with pets, I see an instant softening in their face as their heart melts. The stories start pouring out, "when I was five, there was this cat that just showed up and always wanted to be with me..." The tears, the joy, the warmth of their heart is suddenly present before me, proof that their beautiful heart and soul remain alive and protected behind a wall, built from the painful experiences of failed human relationships. Thankfully, with these individuals, there is often a pet-door in that wall which allows animals to freely access and nourish their heart and soul.

With all this said, it may not surprise you to learn that I've been growing more and more interested in the human-animal bond, particularly the role of childhood pets in the human attachment process. I'm not exactly sure how to pursue this further from a career perspective, so in an effort to explore possible options, I just signed up to attend the 2013 International Association of Human-Animal Interaction Organizations Triennial International Conference in Chicago!!! This conference is taking place in conjunction with the 150th annual American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) conference, so it's gonna be crazy nuts!


Many of the sessions look amazing! From what I can tell, it looks like I can also attend the AVMA sessions too, some of the sessions on behavior look very interesting. This will be information overload I'm sure, but I can't wait!

15 comments:

  1. How exciting! That's quite the distance for you to travel.
    Jane x

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  2. I did not know of your career path but that is particularly interesting. I saw my own Mother in your comments. She grew up in a home with a neglectful Mother and she has always had a strong bond with dogs, and I believe as you've suggested that in her particular case the dogs helped save her. She is nothing like her Mother, in fact she turned into a deeply caring, loving Mother who put her children ahead of her. But she did pass her love of animals to both her son and daughter. This post deeply resonated with me, thank you for sharing.

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  3. What a fabulous conference that should be!

    I wouldn't want to sit down and have a session with you, though, as I see too much of myself in your post. Not that my parents were abusive, but their marriage was so cr*ppy, neither had the emotional energy for me, though my mom would be devastated if she knew I wrote that. As for my dad--well, he wasn't a nice person, though I cherish our relationship now.

    No wonder I grew up with trust and commitment issues, though! Thank goodness for Polly, our neighbour's work horse and my soulmate, and for my own ponies too, and Mandy our dog and later, Muffy the cat Mom and I had in our last couple of years in Gaspé.

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  4. That was a great post, we enjoyed it. Our Mom, who does our photos, is a mental health counselor. Have a great weekend!

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  5. Yes, it was a great post and very interesting. What you said about having pets doesn't surprise me at all. I was not abused, but my mother divorced my father when I was an infant because he was an alcoholic. She remarried a wonderful man, who actually I thought of as father,. I had a good childhood, but both parents did not believe in having dogs or cats in the house., We lived in the city, so I could not have one.. Guess what they got about 8 years after I left home - yup that's right. They lived in the country and someone dumped off a dog - beautiful dog. She was going to be an outside dog with a dog house, but that first winter, she was allowed in the house.. Then a cat was dumped off too - same story. Pets are such good therapy and I dread the day when I can no longer have one. Will be anxious to hear about your conference.

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  6. I am so glad you signed up for the conference. I bet you will come away with lots of information, information overload to be sure. This will enrich you life, and I bet help in your work with animals and your clients. I am excited for you! I hope you share some of what you take away from the conference when you get back.

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  7. This conference sounds wonderful! I truly think that animals give that unconditional love that we all need and abused and neglected kids more then others. I'm excited for you!

    Linda

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  8. I really liked your post, very informative. The conference sounds very interesting and I'm sure you will learn a lot from it.

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  9. The conference sounds like it was custom made for you. You'll have a great time. My childhood was straight out of Leave it to Beaver and all the other white-bread, small-town shows. My mom didn't like animals because they were dirty and shed (yeah, a slight OCD problem), but I made up for it after I got married. And now 42 years later, I'm a foster mom with 28 current fosters, including 16 kittens. Did I mention I made up for lost time???

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  10. Sounds like the perfect conference for you given your vocation and interest in animals. I'm quite sure it will be rewarding in MANY ways!

    Pam

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  11. can't wait to read about what you learn there.
    I have always loved animals (probably stems from our first dog, a Boxer, named Brandy)...I had/have a mentally/physically abusive mother...that is probably why I turned to animals to love at a very young age!

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  12. Your innate caring shines through your blogs so I am not surprised to learn your profession. Nor does it surprise me that childhood pets and those even now are able to nourish the heart and warm our souls. I hope you are able to share some of what you learn with us here.

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  13. I have seen it from the rescue side - women who won't go to shelters from an abusive situation until their animals are safe. Or Banyan, the cat we rescued when her girl was picked up by social services and refused to leave her behind. I have also seen articles of counselors who have animals in their office to help people feel more relaxed and like they can open up. It is pretty amazing. Can't wait to hear what you learn at the conference.

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  14. We'll look forward to hearing more about this after you attend. Hope it meets all your expectations. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Misty May, Mauricio, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette. IF YOU TRIED TO COMMENT ON OUR POST "PAYBACK FOILDED" AND COULDN'T DUE TO THE CAPTCHA CODE, MOM HAS REMOVED THE CAPTCHA REQUIREMENT! SHE'S ALSO NOW REMOVED THE CHECK BOX 'CAUSE IT NEVER APPEARED BUT YOU STILL COULDN'T COMMENT.

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  15. what an awesome opportunity! I hope you find it very helpful to your work.

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