Wednesday, December 23, 2015

roller coaster

As I was packing up getting ready to leave my office this afternoon, reality hit me like a load of emotional bricks. I realized Buddy's health is fading rapidly and he most likely will not be with us much longer. That moment of reality was accompanied by a host of tears as my heart broke. I spent the 20-minute walk home sobbing as I thought about what felt like a painful truth.

Undated photo (circa a few years ago)
Buddy's health has been up and down. Periods of not wanting to eat and looking really uncomfortable mixed in with times of being his tummy-rub demanding, super-lovey self. It's really hard seeing him so miserable, it's not the quality of life I want for him. Tonight, he's back to his perky self (I'm grateful). When I got home from my commute, he was the first to greet my sobby-self at the door with lovey meows and climbing up on me, desperate to be held (exactly what my ouchy heart needed). Seeing him be his usual self tonight is quite the contrast to last night, when he was all hunched up on the heating pad looking quite miserable.

Earlier this afternoon, I had a conversation with my vet about Buddy's health and the last blood work results. The tests basically indicated he's old (16) and his body is really starting to show that age. Organs are sometimes struggling to function properly, as they do with old age, thus times of feeling miserable. I asked if there was more non-invasive diagnostic work we could do, and she said not really. The best we can do is to keep the medicine regime, maybe start Sub-Q fluids if needed and monitor his quality of life.

The reality moment for me was realizing that there is nothing we can do to fix what ails him. Which means, me needing to accept the inevitable, as painful as that is - I'm going to need to say goodbye to my tummy-rub loving machine sometime in the near future. Damn. Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy every moment I get with this guy.

I recently discovered a new Fancy Feast food offering. We got some free samples to try and Buddy gobbled them down with great gusto. I was excited to find a food that he'll actually eat somewhat consistently. This cat food looks like real human food, so I think Buddy might think he's getting human food which he loves.


The food is called Purely Fancy Feast. It comes in little 2 oz trays and it's pretty pricey. But I'm at that place with Buddy, that I'm willing to pay a lot of money if it means he'll eat. He's always been a picky eater and now he's taken that to the extreme. I remember with Max, near the end of his life, finding food he would eat was a huge challenge. I tried all sorts of new flavors, hoping it would entice him just to eat a little bit more. 


Continued prayers for Buddy's health and our ouchy hearts are always appreciated.

18 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. It's a harsh reality for us all, that All Beings pass, no matter how we care for them or for ourselves. You already are giving him the best care possible, and I know that when it's Buddy's time to fly to the Bridge he will make that journey surrounded by love. My thoughts and "purrayers" are with you and Buddy. Purrs from the boys.

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  2. Oh I totally understand.....I feel the same way about Sammy who turns 16 on January 1st. He has good and bad days.....perky days and sleepy days....I'm always happy if I can get his thyroid meds down him but some days I don't succeed. Sam's always been picky about food too - I try everything new that comes out too. Old age is no fun - for THEM or for us. We just have to enjoy every minute we have with them and hope for more.....Since they are so sensitive to US, I try to be happy for Sam as much as I can even though inside my heart aches for the kitten I adopted so long ago. Have a good holiday with Buddy. Every day counts.

    Love, Pam (and Sammy)

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  3. Aw, I know the feeling. I lost my kitty Abbey in 2014, she was just a week shy of her 16th birthday. It was and still is painful. But I do now have two new kitties to love. Hugs to you and Buddy.

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  4. It is such a hard period of time to go through - facing the end of life for our beloved pets. My heart goes out to you having to go through this right now. Thoughts will be with you. M sends a big HUG to you.

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  5. Sending soft purrs and prayers for you and your dear Buddy. Enjoy each and every moment you can with him. Big hugs and we do wish you a blessed Christmas.

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  6. Oh yea, it's sure tough. Try not to worry about any decisions, Buddy will tell you when it is time. We're praying for lots more good days for your dear boy.

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  7. I went through the expensive food for Admiral. I would have spent anything and did, to get her to eat. Just as I spent taking her to hospital and obtaining medicines. Buddy, get better sweetheart. You're breaking your dad's heart but I know you don't mean to. <3
    I know how you feel.

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  8. I am at the same place with Skootch. I have cried myself to sleep several times in the past few months. At least now he is eating well (not true a few months ago), and his blood work is good (!). He has all sorts of issues, about which I shall blog soon. It is so hard when our beloved elder cats begin to fail. Just give him all the love you can, and he will tell you when it's time.

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  9. I remember when you got Buddy. We pray he will get thru the holidays

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  10. Those particular fancy feasts are popular here too... I think my cats inhaled theirs tonight! LOL!

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  11. We too are ridin' dat roller coaster wiff you. Sis Lexi took a down turn just a kupple days ago. Weez sure hopin' and purrayin' she bounces back again, but we know what you're feelin'. Weez sendin' lots and lots of purrayers your way.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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  12. Purrs for lots of quality time with Buddy.

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  13. I hear you...Kona is 18 and I know this is her last winter with us. I will try her on some of this Fancy Feast, she's ultra picky nowadays too. HUGS to you, and rub Buddy's tumtum a few times for me.

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  14. This post make me and mom leaking. Seeing our love one is going this way is hard. And our heart got bruise . Buddy have many wonderful time with you for 16 years. It's a blessing. Give my purrs to him and hug to you.

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  15. Here's to Buddy hanging in there for awhile yet!

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  16. it is always hard when they go. Jack is 13 and I fear that day now.. despite having no reason to.

    Isn't it nice when you find a new food that gets them eating

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  17. Praying that Buddy is with you for a very long time.
    Hugs!

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