All weekend, I felt like my anxiety was being held in check due to needing to wait to get more information from further diagnostics. The cardiologist I was referred to has a private practice and works out of several offices in nearby cities. First thing Monday morning I called to make an appointment and got voicemail, so I left a message and waited for a return call.
Tuesday morning Buddy turned up his nose at his breakfast. That combined with not having received a return call from the clinic boosted my anxiety level as I had to face the familiar feeling of being powerlessness over these matters. Not wanting to accept that powerlessness, I started doing research on other cardiologist options but learned from other rescuers, the specialist my vet recommended is indeed the best one around. This meant more waiting and each hour of waiting brought more acute feelings of anxiety - rapid, shallow breathing and tension in my chest. Even though I was working my calming strategies, the anxiety stayed near.
Late afternoon on Tuesday, I received the call I had been waiting for and amazingly, the cardiologist had an opening for Wednesday afternoon, so I jumped on it. Buddy's going to visit the best cardiologist in the area later today. Yea! Instantly my anxiety level dropped. I'm still worried about him, but knowing there is a plan gives me hope.
Interesting that the theme of Tuesday morning's devotion was "wait with hope", something that does not come easy for me. Waiting in the face of feeling powerlessness over something really important to me causes me distress, not hope. The longer the waiting time, the greater the distress. Also interesting that Monday morning, my Wednesday afternoon schedule completely cleared out. I went from having several meetings to no meetings, which of course caused me stress due to the reduction of income. Little did I know at that time that those meetings would have conflicted with the only cardiology appointment available this week. Maybe someday my faith will grow to the level where I can wait with hope.
Meanwhile, please purr for Buddy as we learn more about what's going on. I'll let you know what we find out.
Sending purrs and have crossed paws for a good prognosis from the special vet!ReplyDelete
Charlie and I are purring up a storm for you and Buddy! God does have a plan but waiting with hope is hard for me also. So many lessons to learn! Waiting to hear the news.ReplyDelete
That darling cat is in my prayers today. Sending a hug, DebReplyDelete
We are sure sending tons pf purrs and prayers to dear Buddy.ReplyDelete
I will add YOU to my prayer list immediately. I know that same devotional. Saw it as well. Buddy, I will pray for you as well, just as I have for all my babies through the years.ReplyDelete
I wish I could send you a note Dad, as I have had to learn and have learned one important thing in my walk with Him. I can't direct how He will respond or when. But I have faith that He will.
I completely understand the utter helplessness you feel. It is such a normal reaction. If you find the secret to waiting with hope please please please share it. I know that I was absolutely devoid of it with Abby. Am praying and we are all purring for sweet Buddy and hoping for the very best outcome.ReplyDelete
We are only given a lifetime.. we are never told how long that lifetime will be. I know it is easy to stress over what is looming right in front of you and forget what still here. He is still with you, you still get to love on him and be with him.ReplyDelete
I had a cat, Em, who had a pretty bad heart condition.. she was on pills three times a day and it was making her life miserable. I decided I would rather her have a short happy life than a long miserable one so I stopped medicating her. Years down the road she became diabetic. It was years after that that cancer finally took her at 16.
We'll be hoping that the specialist will have some good information about Buddy's heart for you.....Hope is sometimes difficult to hang on to but it's important to have it.......sending purrs and prayers.ReplyDelete
Hugs, Pam and Sammy
sending purrs and prayers that all goes well. Have gone through the same, I know it is hard, but one of the best things is to try and remain positive and calm for Buddy. They pick up on OUR distress/uneasiness....be positive! xoxoReplyDelete
Weez be purrayin' fur Buddy and fur you. Mommy sez there be no sense in worryin' over sumfin' fur which you hav contwol. And now da weality, we unnewstand yous worry and hope dat God purrvides you wiff peace in yous mind. This can most likely be tweated wiff blood finners of sum sort. Mommy hers selff has a blood clot on hers bwain and nuffin', can weally be dun 'bout it. Ifin it bweaks mommy will dwop dead dat instant. But she sez dat be da easiest way to go fur ure. Not dat Buddy will hav this happen. Da point is dat mommy be a worrier, but there's no point in causin' more stwess over this cuz as pawful as it is death is a just as big of a pawt of life and bweevin'. And da more hers worry da more we get stwessed out. So member hims not needs da stwess any more than you. We purray fur peace and calm and healin' and hope.ReplyDelete
Dezi and Lexi