All weekend, I felt like my anxiety was being held in check due to needing to wait to get more information from further diagnostics. The cardiologist I was referred to has a private practice and works out of several offices in nearby cities. First thing Monday morning I called to make an appointment and got voicemail, so I left a message and waited for a return call.
Tuesday morning Buddy turned up his nose at his breakfast. That combined with not having received a return call from the clinic boosted my anxiety level as I had to face the familiar feeling of being powerlessness over these matters. Not wanting to accept that powerlessness, I started doing research on other cardiologist options but learned from other rescuers, the specialist my vet recommended is indeed the best one around. This meant more waiting and each hour of waiting brought more acute feelings of anxiety - rapid, shallow breathing and tension in my chest. Even though I was working my calming strategies, the anxiety stayed near.
Late afternoon on Tuesday, I received the call I had been waiting for and amazingly, the cardiologist had an opening for Wednesday afternoon, so I jumped on it. Buddy's going to visit the best cardiologist in the area later today. Yea! Instantly my anxiety level dropped. I'm still worried about him, but knowing there is a plan gives me hope.
Interesting that the theme of Tuesday morning's devotion was "wait with hope", something that does not come easy for me. Waiting in the face of feeling powerlessness over something really important to me causes me distress, not hope. The longer the waiting time, the greater the distress. Also interesting that Monday morning, my Wednesday afternoon schedule completely cleared out. I went from having several meetings to no meetings, which of course caused me stress due to the reduction of income. Little did I know at that time that those meetings would have conflicted with the only cardiology appointment available this week. Maybe someday my faith will grow to the level where I can wait with hope.
Meanwhile, please purr for Buddy as we learn more about what's going on. I'll let you know what we find out.