It's the Fourth of July eve here in the States and I'm not feeling very celebratory. In fact, I'm feeling more grumpy and discontent than anything. Many things contribute to my surly state of mind, foremost are the fireworks being set off around my neighborhood at this moment. I'm worried about how Oliver and his Family will endure being terrified by all the bangs and booms. Before saying goodnight to Oliver, I encouraged him to stay on the back porch these next few nights. I also told him to invite all his friends and family to stay with him and I'd put out extra food. I hope they all take me up on the offer.
The noise will only be worse tomorrow, the night of the actual holiday. I've never been much for fireworks - they seem like a real waste of money to me, but to each their own. Fireworks are actually illegal in this city and yet no one seems to care about that little law. Anyway, I just wish there was a way to keep my beloved ferals safe and relaxed.
At this late hour, I'm also very worried about my mom. She's had a history of heart problems, having suffered a cardiac arrest a number of years ago. I'm thankful for the medical professionals who restarted her heart and gave her extra innings. Lately, she has been suffering from near constant Atrial Fibrillation (a-fib) which is really working her over. She is scheduled to have a procedure next week that will hopefully heal her condition, however there are significant risks with her age and previous heart troubles. Next week, I will be flying back East to spend most of the week with her. Prayers and purrs for her healing as well as for serenity for me and my family would be greatly appreciated.
The Fourth of July in the USA is suppose to be a big patriotic time filled with flag waving and gratuitous nationalism. But frankly, the direction this country is going in fills me grave concern. I grieve for this nation and those that are hurt by our never ending capitalistic-centered greed. Sadly, every year, regardless of the political party in office, things only seem to worsen. I'm sure part of my depression and hopelessness stems from being very displeased with the status-quo and yet not having any faith that any politician gives a damn about anything other than their self and their special interest buddies.
Since returning from vacation work has been exceptionally challenging. I've only been back for a little over three weeks and I'm already feeling burned out. I often wrestle with questions about other possible career options or adjustments I can make to my situation to increase my satisfaction and serenity. In the end I'm usually left with more discontentment and angst than anything else.
Even with all my anxiety and hopelessness, I still take intentional time each day to access gratitude for my amazing wife, my wonderful cats, our home, and our health. On this Fourth of July, I'm also especially grateful for all those around the world who work for Peace - blessed are the peacemakers.