Friday, November 4, 2011

BK update

It's been a little while since I have said anything about BK. The short of it is, he's still outside doing his thing. I love on him as much as he permits.

BK having breakfast on the back porch just prior to lap snuggles.

We have had some cold nights lately. After the first cold night, I awoke to find that the kitty village was at full occupancy. BK was in his house and I couldn't tell who was occupying the other house, but I was pleased to see that some kitty was staying warm.

I think the last thing I wrote about BK was how he had melted in my lap. That continued for a few days more after I wrote about it. But then I tried to capture him by placing a towel in my lap and then waiting for him to relax in my lap. Then it was a matter of speedily making a kitty burrito out of him. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but it was a major fail. He freaked, peed on me, bit me and scratched me good. The flesh wounds didn't hurt me, but his intense fear of me was heartbreaking for me.

Regaining his trust has been a slow slow process. It took weeks before he would even approach me again. Eventually he warmed up to being petted but didn't want anything more to do with my lap. These last few days with the temperature the coldest it has been this year, he has been more interested in my lap again. But he is far from melting into me, he remains cautious as he perches in my lap. Each day brings more progress. Yesterday morning he curled up in my lap as if he was going to take a snooze, then a noise startled him and he shot away.

I still desire to trap him and get him over to the vet. I have all the equipment needed to make it so, all I am lacking is finding the courage to risk losing his trust again. After the trauma of the last attempt, I realized my biggest fear is re-traumatizing him so that he decides never to return. I realize logically this fear may be crazy, but my deep seated feline-codependent driven fear makes this a significant emotionally hurdle for me. I think it would be slightly easier if I didn't have an emotional attachment to him.

What I wish for is to have an experienced TNR person to assist me (hold my hand) with both the logistical and emotional elements of this operation. I'm not sure how to find this person though. I just got the list of Feral Friends for my area from Alley Cat Allies and even though there is no one super close by, I may reach out to a few people in nearby cities to see if they might help.

In the meantime, I will continue to provide a warm, loving lap to BK anytime he desires. He loves to have his head and face rubbed. As I have been loving on him these past few cold mornings, I have been thinking through all that would be required to run electricity over to the cat houses so I can provide outdoor heating pads to keep them good and toasty. It's only a little more money.


  1. You are such a great cat guy!!!! Just be careful with the heating pads - if they get wet, they can freeze. Mom says she wishes we lived closer cause she would be more than willing to help - it is terrible to injure what little trust you can gain.

  2. Another thought: Laurie at the IBKC may be able to help you out....she lives in Seattle and fosters for the humane society.

  3. Good luck with BK. We think asking for help from someone who is experienced in TNR is a great idea.

  4. Oh I understand how hard it is to risk losing their trust. BK is so lucky to have you care so much. I hope things work out...keep us updated!

  5. We had been wondering...poor BK, he's had a hard luck life until he found you. We are so happy he has you. Too bad there isn't a way to neuter through food! Fingers crossed you can get some help trapping him so he doesn't see you as the bad guy.

  6. I was thinking maybe instead of a heating pad, a lightbulb in a small area would generate heat??

  7. Put a screen around it so it cannot be touched.

  8. Paws Crossed for you and BK., We are not sure about what BK will decides after been trapped and do neutering but we just know it's a good thing to do. But we are sure after the neutering you will have time with him cause After the VET, the cat's belly is shaved with stitches and you have to keep it in your house for a day or two till it heals. May be that will be the time to gain back his trust , I think.

    We found some information for you, May be it will help your decision.
    Good Luck !

    Feral Cats and How to Help Them

    Having a feral cat spayed or neutered

    Care of Cat After Surgery

    Know about TNR

  9. I'm not sure your know Margs, she help a lots of feral kitties, and she have lots of experience to trap the feral kitties. I think she can answers your questions very well.

    Here her website ( and you can also find her email there ) :

  10. good luck dear, we totally empathise with your feelings and support you .. wish we could do more... hoping the others above who have left links can help you more. Helen and her Darcy and Bingley xx

  11. BK is lucky to have you looking out for him.

  12. Just keep doing what you are doing and I bet in time, you will be able to catch BK. He is lucky to have you caring so much for him.

  13. BK is lucky to have such a nice human like you! hope you can visit my blog soon. have a nice tuesday! purrs, Rio from Barcelona


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