Friday, August 3, 2012

this moment

Yesterday I read something that wrenched my heart, causing me to pause in my day and to breathe in that moment in time. Robin from Covered in Cat Hair wrote about facing the possibility of her beloved cat, Spencer, having cancer which might require him to lose one or both of his precious soft ears. To compound the pain further, Robin had lost her cat Bob, from cancer less than a year ago.

As I wiped the tears from my face and prayed for Robin and Spencer, my thoughts drifted over to my life. Every moment in time is unique, and one never knows when the fragile balance of joy will be shattered into a million pieces. In that moment, I realized too often do I focus on the unsettled places of my heart.

However, in this moment, I note that everyone in my life is generally well. Nahum, Willow, Theo, Rose, and Buddy are alive, healthy and well. Each night I worry about the outside cats, wondering if they will make it through another day in the wild, yet in this moment, to the best of my knowledge, Oliver, MK, Brown Kitty, Gilbert and the other two members of Oliver's family are alive and well. Laura is healthy, my parents, brothers and friends are alive and living their lives. The house is standing, the electricity is flowing and the lights illuminated. The car runs and we both have employment. Gratitude feels palpable.

I also know any or all of these things could change without warning in any moment.

In time the cats will age, have health problems and eventually die. In this moment, all is well. The pain of that future moment will be known in time, but now, in this moment there is health and aliveness. Oh to somehow capture this moment in an inviolable bottle, with hopes of one day remembering, reawakening and re-experiencing the fullness of when everyone was alive, well and whole. But powerless am I to confine time, I can only hold this moment in the softness of my heart, watching and grieving as I see it pass, hoping time will be kind to me in the moment that follows.

I was recently inspired to try my hand at some kitty haiku.

Tummy furs upright
Leg on hand, hand in motion
Purr never ending

Velvety warm ears
Endless playful energy
Silken fluff abounds


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  2. Oh, you have touched me to the core of my heart. I just today did a tribute to my girl Lady Bianca whose blog is called The Adventures of Admiral Hestorb. I miss her so much and I love her just as much as I always did. I had to watch her decline because of two illness, one of shich was terminal--- hypercalcimia, and each day of the last year of her life was just as you described in a way..always watching, waiting, loving and grieving before she even had flown away from me to the Rainbow Bridge.

    I have my Katie Isabella now whom I love deeply and each day I am grateful for her health and her truely demonstrated happiness...always knowing that as with all of us and our beloved pets, that darkness will come one day regarding her as well and that I must deal with it somehow.

    Thank you for an awesome blog.

  3. I have grateful moments like you describe. Especially with my Armand being 15 and being diabetic and hyperthyroid...every day is a blessing. an unrelated question, did the kitty in Colorado (from your road trip) ever find a new home?

  4. All of us here at Prancer Pie are reminded to not take any day fur granted and always love like it's the last. Thank you.

  5. I had promised myself to video my mob...I haven't. This has reminded me that I need to make visual memories for when they have gone. Thank you.
    Jane x

  6. It is always good to take a minute or four and remember that what you do have is good and not let the 'bad' overwhelm you to the point you forget that. I am always glad when someone reminds me to do that.. thank you

    I love your Haiku!

  7. You said it so well. As time passes, my bond with my furbabies grow stronger and closer which I cherish so, but as time passes, it also means my time with them gets shorter and shorter. It's heartbreaking and the only thing I can do is create as many memories I can with them so when the time comes to say good bye, I would have a huge library of memories to last a lifetime.

  8. Sometimes we lose our furbabies in a minute. With others we watch as they grow old and deteriorate.

    I saw in our local obituaries that a 39-year-old died of a heart attack. It was certainly a wake-up reminder to appreciate each day.

  9. I just discovered your blog while leaving a comment on another blog and I am so happy to have unearthed this treasure!

    Your thoughtfulness and sensitivity in reference to Robin, so deeply touched me.

    Your blog is wonderful and I am honored to be one of your newest followers.

  10. As I read about other fur babies with illness or crossing the rainbow bridge, it makes me sad and I think of my boy who is almost 14. I know(hope) he has many more years with me but we never know. Just love them as much as we can. Hugs, Linda

    1. My life is similar to yours right now and I, too, think about the future. I am thankful everyday that my family is well. My Mom is still alive, and all of my siblings (6 in number.) Scott and I are healthy, and so are all my furry friends. Scott's work is picking up right now as mine has changed. We look forward to what these new changes will bring.
      My well wishes and prayers go out to Robin and Spencer at this time.

  11. I came across your blog while reading another and I have to say, What you wrote should be put on billboards everywhere. It made me think about my life, my health, and those around me. What a great post!

  12. And I meant to tell you I enjoyed your beautiful tender haiku.


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