Thursday, August 2, 2012

Thursday Night Championship Tussling

Match 1

Bob:Well, Jim, I think we are in for an exciting night of tussle action.

Jim:You got that right Bob! By the end of the two upcoming matches we'll know if the reining tussle champion is able to hold onto his position. First off we'll see Theo challenge Nahum for the championship title! That'll be a dandy for sure! And it'll be followed up with a seniors match.

Bob:I see Buddy's the field-ref for this first match, Jim, isn't it a bit unusual to have a field ref for a carpeted tussle?

Jim:Well, you know Bob, because this is part of the 2012 Pacific Northwest Championship Tussle Series, the rules require a ref be right by the action. Having the ref on the field is gonna require the tusslers to hold to a more traditional style of tussle, I doubt we'll see much freeform tussling today, which may really work against Theo in this one.

Buddy:Ok boys, lets have a clean tussle. You know the rules, so I ain't goin over it all again, I say this once, tails are off limits, I see you goin for the tail, your done, dat clear?! As always, the one who backs off first loses the match. May the best cat win! Alright, Ready... Set... GO!!! 

Jim:Nahum starts as he often does with a textbook stink-eye.

Bob:I don't think the stink-eye's really gonna have much effect on Theo. I was talking with his coach before the match and learned that Theo's been training with Willow lately, and she's a master of the stink-eye, apparently he's learned a very effective counter move.

Jim:Oh my, Bob, did you see that? Theo takes the floor position first, that does not bode well for him. Nahum clearly is starting with the upper paw in this match.

Bob:Yes, Jim, Theo does look a little dazed at the moment, however something about that right front paw tells me he's up to something. He might not be as dazed as he's making it out to be.

Jim:You called it Bob! Theo pulled one over on the champion and now he's making him pay with the classic back-paw-rake across the eye routine. That's gotta hurt!

Bob:Nahum's clearly a seasoned champion, did you see how he so quickly shifted out from Theo's paw-rake and is now about to give Theo his first leg chomp? 

Jim:You know Bob, that's what makes this Championship Series so exciting to watch, these tusslers really know their tussle. The action is non-stop, each move is so perfectly matched, it's move, counter-move and move.

Bob:So, Jim, back before time, when you were Tussle Champion, did you ever face such a fierce competitor as Nahum?

Jim:You know Bob, I had my tough tussles in my day, but things were different back then. Since the mandatory nip testing came into effect the caliber of tussle just hasn't been the same. Now watch close Bob, Theo sure looks like he's settling into his form, his paws are really starting to move, this might be starting to get Nahum off balance.

Bob:If Theo's going to win this, he'll have to really connect with those paws. He's often called the "fastest paw in the west" and tonight, I think we're seeing why. If Nahum doesn't start countering some of those swats, we may be having a new champion tonight!

Jim:All this paw action has got to be wiping Theo out. He's got to be one tired cat, how much longer can he keep the swats coming? This might just be a waiting game for Nahum as Theo tires himself out.

Bob:Well, I think we know the answer now Jim, Theo just backed off - the match is over! 

Jim:Nahum has done it again! Congratulations Nahum, he's once again successfully defended his Champion Tussle Title!

Bob:Impressive indeed. That was one of the better matches we've seen in a while. Remarkable the ref never called a foul, a clean match all round.

Jim:We need to take a break and we'll be right back with the second match of the night. 

Gratuitous halftime show:

Match 2:

Bob:Ok, we're back now for the second part of tonight's double match set. In this match we'll have Nahum taking on Buddy in a friendly tussle - that means Nahum's champion status is not on the line for this match.

Jim:Well, that'll certainly ease the pressure on Nahum, which's good as he's got to be pretty tired from that first match with Theo. It looks like we are about to get underway now.

Bob:Nahum's starting things off with his teaser pose. This move involves luring his opponent to his soft tummy furs, only to be done in with his patented "paws-of-death" move. It's an open posture that quickly leads to the surprise lightening-fast offense, which usually brings a quick victory. When the teaser pose works, it's a one and done deal.

Jim:Be sure to watch Nahum's eyes. You see, a critical part of this move involves the eyes, he gazes at his opponent, inviting him to the tummy furs with his soft, beckoning eyes. If he messes up the subtle eye-work then this move will really work against him because Buddy could easily take advantage of Nahum's vulnerable position on the floor.

Bob:Now this is really unusual Jim, Buddy's not taking the bait. Nahum's really taken a big risk by staying with this move for so long when it doesn't appear to be working. He's giving Buddy plenty of time to fine tune his strategy. And what's this now?

Jim:Oh my! Nahum really seems desperate now! Just look at that! He's giving Buddy the over the back gaze. If he's not careful, Buddy will end this really quick, giving Nahum a major upset.

Bob:Yea, Jim, I'm not getting why Nahum's so invested in his teaser pose. He's really playing right into Buddy's paws.

Jim:This is really unheard of. Maybe the impact of all those Theo swats to the head from the first match is catching up to him. His insistence of holding the teaser pose is really going to be his undoing.

Bob:I think you're right Jim!

 ding! ding! ding!

Bob:And Jim, that's the match! The bell has rung and Buddy successfully outlasted Nahum to take the friendly tussle. What that match lacked in action it made up for in strategy, wow!

Jim:Indeed Bob, this will be one of those matches that will be talked about for a long time to come. It's certainly one of the things I have come to love about tussles, each is unique and impossible to predict the outcome. Who would've predicted that Buddy would take the match without even raising a paw?! Buddy's really good at out thinking his opponent. You know the media will be pushing Nahum to explain his thinking with that prolonged teaser pose move.

Bob:And I'm eager to hear what he says on that one, I'm still quite puzzled myself.

Jim:Well everyone, the tussles have once again come and gone. What a night! Thanks to the participants in tonights tussles and a special thank you to Willow, for providing the enticing halftime show! Thanks everyone for tuning in and until next time, remember to keep those paws sharp!

* A special thanks also goes to the fine folks and cats over at Cat Confidential for inspiring this post by reminding me about my favorite commentators, Bob and Jim!


  1. Wow! What a wonderful and SUPER entertaining post! I love Willow as the halftime show...too cute :)

  2. Very impressive tussle, and LOVE the half time show!

  3. We loved the Half Time show! That really eased the tension. :)
    Congratulations Nahum on keeping your Tussle Champion title! And good tussling, everyone!

  4. Oh, this was brilliant! We were on the edges of our furry butts for both...and we were overcome by Willow in the half-time show. Yowza!

  5. All I can say is, "WOW". The cheesy halftime show was the icing on the cake. Match 2 was hilarious.

  6. Very entertaining! I love Tussle Championships... I have a real champion at home (Eugene), He wins every match. I'll have to post pictures of some of his skills :)

  7. How fun! I'm so excited to see Jim and Bob (I actually made the names up - not realizing they were real commentators) out and about. You did an awesome job!

    I am hosting Wrestling next week with Jim and Bob and I'll mention this post!

    Meg the Mom & Quill the Kitten.

  8. That was fun! We love a good wrasslin' match!!

  9. That was great! Just like "Home"...*lol*...only at home it is known as Clash of the Tyrants (Titans). Great job!

  10. This is hilarious! Thanks for the late afternoon laugh.


Thanks for sending in your comments!