As I wiped the tears from my face and prayed for Robin and Spencer, my thoughts drifted over to my life. Every moment in time is unique, and one never knows when the fragile balance of joy will be shattered into a million pieces. In that moment, I realized too often do I focus on the unsettled places of my heart.
However, in this moment, I note that everyone in my life is generally well. Nahum, Willow, Theo, Rose, and Buddy are alive, healthy and well. Each night I worry about the outside cats, wondering if they will make it through another day in the wild, yet in this moment, to the best of my knowledge, Oliver, MK, Brown Kitty, Gilbert and the other two members of Oliver's family are alive and well. Laura is healthy, my parents, brothers and friends are alive and living their lives. The house is standing, the electricity is flowing and the lights illuminated. The car runs and we both have employment. Gratitude feels palpable.
I also know any or all of these things could change without warning in any moment.
In time the cats will age, have health problems and eventually die. In this moment, all is well. The pain of that future moment will be known in time, but now, in this moment there is health and aliveness. Oh to somehow capture this moment in an inviolable bottle, with hopes of one day remembering, reawakening and re-experiencing the fullness of when everyone was alive, well and whole. But powerless am I to confine time, I can only hold this moment in the softness of my heart, watching and grieving as I see it pass, hoping time will be kind to me in the moment that follows.
I was recently inspired to try my hand at some kitty haiku.
Tummy furs upright
Leg on hand, hand in motion
Purr never ending
Velvety warm ears
Endless playful energy
Silken fluff abounds